Not knowing how to cook especially after marriage is one of the most horrendous of all other discomforts you go through. And more when you have ample amount of taunts coming your way from the sisters in law mothers in law and all the possible people related to you only by law. I did not know much cooking when i got married since i was a working woman. Right after college I was working and all I could cook was a basic meal. But whenever there would be biryani or butter chicken or dosa or medu vada sambar being cooked in the home after marriage I would get a scrumptious bite of tantrums from the women in law about how I was of no help and also loads of bragging about how they knew and I did not. I was learning slowly but that did not count. It would hurt. I would feel so left out and clueless in the kitchen that it killed my apetite for food. I kept feeling like i am eating without any efforts put in. But i sit down and think. The teacher who is teaching my child right now in school as i write this does not have time to cook lunch. Coz common sense! She is in school from 7 am to 1pm. There may be few who cook before the sun rises and then rush to school. But isnt it too much to ask. My family doctor, my dentist, my office going neighbor does not have time to cook and hence they have help. The helping lady cooks for the household and the rest manage their routines. But when the women in law do not like having outsiders come and cook for you and expect your working daughter in law to know how to cook biryani and A complete breakfast each day, it is ridiculous. Now after 8 years of being at home and raising my kids there is no more fear of the kitchen. The circumstances life throws at you train you well they do! Thanks to my fast learning skill (which i am immensely proud of and will brag about) and thanks to the internet too. Cooking isn’t rocket science. But the ladies who are related to you by law find a lot of solace in putting you down and showing you how you cannot do what they can.. But hello!!!! Can they work like you can. They have been at home forever by choice and hence the situation demands they know the kitchen better than you. So respect the working woman. Give her good vibes when she returns home tired and do not make her feel .. ‘Aa gayi bana banaya khane’ . OR… ‘Kitchen mein kitni garmi hai, jo khana banata hai wahi jaanta hai’. Today when i cook gulab jamun or neer dosa or biryani or fish curry or idli sambar, i cannot help think how i felt when i wasn’t the one cooking. It is a feeling of guilt combined with helplessness and eventually hate for yourself.. All the present ladies in law and future ones too.. Think before you pass judgements and dont be a shallow soul. 🙂

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